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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"I don't know," the husband said. "I can't help it. I look around at the women at the gym and on my favorite porn sites, and now I'm only attracted to them. It's not my fault. Sorry about that but I have to blow up our longstanding loving relationship."

This is not one of those things that "just happens." This is a person who made wedding vows and is now acting like a helpless victim of his loins.[/quote]

Whatever.  When you marry someone, there's an expectation that you will put work into the marriage.  That means, if you're inclined to nag at your spouse, to work on cutting back.  That means if it's your inclination to yell and get mad in fights, to work on better communication skills.  It means remembering to put the toilet seat down.  It means DH leaving work earlier than he'd like to to pick up the kids from aftercare so that DW's career can recover a bit more since her maternity leave.  It means not drinking in front of an alcoholic spouse.  I'm just making these things up, but basically it's insanely easy to think of a hugely long list of things we do for our spouse because: it's healthier for our marriage, or it's a kind thing to do for them. You don't just get to operate in a vacuum in marriage.  Work hard on your marriage.  That means putting some effort into remaining attractive for your spouse. Some stuff is out of your control.  Twenty pounds can sneak up quickly in old age.  But OP's 50 pounds is just her doing what she wants to do without care of consequence to her husband.  [/quote]

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