Reply to Husband has a "one that got away!". Not sure how I feel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't we all have some one who "got away"? That person is no longer in our lives, so it's easy to imagine them as whoever we want them to be. It's a fantasy to keep this notion alive.

If your husband & this lady were meant to be, she wouldn't have broke it off for some guy she met at a conference. He might be reminiscing this week because he has more time on his hands, but try not to overthink it. You all got married and he's committed to you, right? The rest is history. [/quote]

Bingo.

You can drive yourself crazy with all sorts of "what if" scenarios, but there's really no point.  It didn't happen.  He had a relationship before you that was more intense than you realized.  That you didn't know until now is probably a good thing.

Im still in contact with my one who "got away" because we managed to transition a trainwreck relationship to a really strong friendship.  Does the mind wander to the what ifs?  Sure.  And they all end with "phew, bullet dodged."  With someone who isn't still in your life, it is so much easier to play that game without pesky reality interfering.  Bailing at the wedding is a fairly solid sign that it absolutely wasn't meant to be.  Sure, life isn't a perfect fairy tale, but that's an insurmountable problem.  So, yes, she literally got away.  Don't go looking for trouble.  Also, don't throw away someone's stuff.

He probably didn't bring you to weddings until you got engaged because he was gun-shy -- the guy had been drop-kicked badly.  [/quote]

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