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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the one who used the term neglect, and to redirect the conversation back to the lady who asked about conflict in cross-class marriages, my point was that I received an awful lot of grief from my husband and his extended family for wanting to do things that I regarded as normal parenting and they regarded as spoiling the children.

Buying a toddler an educational toy?  Unnecessary.  Spoiling the child.  Having more than one set of good clothes for church?  Paying for preschool?  Replacing a child's winter coat halfway through the winter if it is outgrown?  Replacing an item that a child lost -- like mittens in the middle of the winter?  Giving a child money so they can have pizza in the cafeteria on Friday rather than packing a lunch?  Buying a lunchbox rather than using a brown paper bag?

In every case, I was told that I was being excessive, that children were to be seen not heard, that they didn't need things.  We stopped celebrating Christmas with them because they felt so strongly that anything more than one toy, underwear, one item of clothing for Christmas was excessive;  anything more than oranges and walnuts in a stocking was excessive.   They objected to my purchasing the summer reading paperbacks rather than borrowing them from the library, etc.

In short, for someone from an UMC background (or probably even a middle class background), this can be a jarring way to live, and it seems like an odd choice to make if you can afford more.  That's all I wanted to warn the original poster about.  I suspect that "UMC global elite" refers to something like a foreign service lifestyle, and most of the FSO's I know value things like theater tickets, travel, purchasing and reading books, taking music lessons, etc.  so if you marry someone who questions these values, it can be hard every day.[/quote]

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