Reply to DH away on work trip, MIL and FIL want to have dinner.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some people are introverts but still crave relationships, they want people to care for them and they care for other people.They just don't want to be social all the time. Still if those relationships are important, if you care about people, then you have to care for and build those relationships. Don't brush people off and take them for granted, only to wake up and find out you are lonely.

If you really don't care ABOUT people, then I think your issues are much bigger. It's not about being an introvert.[/quote]

I care a lot about people. I do want relationships in my life.

[b]I have a lot of deep rooted resentment towards DH and his family. He spent a lot of time with them when we first started dating. He was away at sea for 9 months of the year and when he came home he would go straight to them, for 5-6 days of the week just to hang out all the time and get drunk. At times, he wasn't even in a good space when he came home because he would pass out on the floor.[/b]

But he changed. He stopped drinking and started spending significantly less time with his family and more with me. The feeling still remains that I was basically ignored for 2 years.

I'm in therapy for the resentment. My therapist told me to not minimize the alcoholism. But one significant change is that I feel better when he's gone. The resentment doesn't feel as strong. I can do what I want without having to feel like I need to see my ILs once a week. [/quote]

Yikes.  You and DH need some therapy about this.  No way in heck would I be seeing my ILs weekly with this background--and if you and DH never had therapy ever, you need it.[/quote]

Op here again.

Thank you. The bolded text is why I'm in therapy.

Why would you not see your ILs weekly if you were in my experience? Honestly looking for some fresh perspective.

Personally? I can't see them and develop relationships like one big happy family. T[b]hey are very co-dependent on eachother. I found out that DH up until recently has been paying for a lot of their bills, and paid for their property taxes last year. [/b]The issues just run so, so deep.[/quote]

PP quoted here.  I would say that anyone who enabled the drinking is not someone I would want to spend much time around.  What you just described to me is even worse.  He is not as committed to you as he is to family of origin--the fact he didn't talk with you about paying their bills?

No.  It would take major therapy to fix this on his part--you might just get out while you can.

Oh, and fuck dinner with them.  Totally unnecessary--this backstory stuff is important.[/quote]

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