Reply to Leaving 18 year old son alone overnight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every 18-year-old young adult should be able to prepare a basic dinner for themselves when they're on their own. Spaghetti noodles and sauce out of a can, rice and beans, a just-heat-in-pan ham steak, a can of soup, etc.

Saying "but my 18-year-old will starve if I'm not there!" is a sign Junior needs to learn some basic life skills. Plus, he'll be able to impress his future dates if he can make a simple, home-cooked meal![/quote]

Sheesh, you guys are harsh!

I'm one of the posters who thinks that OP is on target in her concerns.  We also are concerned if we have to leave one of our teens for a night/s while we are away.  [i]P[b]rimarily because we would not want other kids to show up and make the house party central[/b][/i].  Certainly any of our children knows how to make a sandwich or spaghetti or omelettes or grill a steak or order pizza or whatever.  And they could easily enough get themselves to one of the clubs and have dinner in any of the restaurants or go over to my sister's or to my folks' house for company.

The point I'm making is that it can be hard for people to be alone for an extended period of time (2-3 days) in their own house.  In our house we have me, my husband, 5 kids, Dad, a caretaker for Dad and three dogs.  I cannot tell you the last time I slept alone in our house.  I am not a Nervous Nelly by any means but to be alone in the house for 2-3 nights would make me antsy.  I [i]would[/i] want someone checking in with me at night and in the morning to make sure everything was okay [i]even though[/i] I would be out and about during the day going to work or volunteering or even just lazing around.[/quote]

Believe it or not, that's an issue to, if you've raised your kid that they will only do the right thing or make good choices because someone is there watching them.

Your second paragraph is your own anxiety, which isn't fair to transfer to your kids.

Look, it's normal to have a little bit of nerves and wonder " Did I teach him/her enough?" when your kid hits 17/18 and it's time for them to  leave the nest.  What isn't healthy is outright panic that your kid will be alone, that they can't figure out how to basic things( feed themselves, basic household chores, what do in an emergency), what isn't healthy is that they would panic at being  alone.[/quote]

I think you're missing the point and projecting.  Our kids are bright and capable, and certainly can handle little emergencies as well as feeding themselves as I've provided ample evidence of their alternatives.  They have had exposure to more situations than most kids and they certainly would not panic at being alone.

I'm saying that we cannot control [i]other kids[/i] who [i]could[/i] show up at our house and then put our kid in the position of needing to call the cops (which[i] any [/i]of our kids [i]would[/i] do).  Because we've seen it happen with other families, not our kids friends.  The most recent case was this spring when a family was out of town.  We [i]don't[/i] want our kid in that position.

But you keep right on harping on your line while we carry on...  Toodaloo![/quote]

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