Reply to Would you admit you have a child on the first date?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And PP why are you anti someone else's kids? [/quote]

Not PP, but I feel the same way.  I dated a man with kids (years ago-- I'm married now), and he used his kids in manipulative ways.  They were a ready-made excuse.  It made the relationship uneven.  Add to that the fact that I knew I'd never have any say in how the kids were raised even though I'd have to deal with them.

He loved to play the "I'm a father" trump card whenever he wanted to downplay my feelings/needs/wants.  I would never have asked him to choose his kids over me, but I felt like I had no say in the relationship, no place to voice my own needs or wants.

I won't say never, but I'd do my best to avoid (if I ever am single again) dating a man with kids.  He definitely used his kids as an excuse to be a jerk.  But it isn't just him.  I've seen other situations where people definitely use their kids as a chip and use their status as "parent" as a source of self-righteousness.  Just no.

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