Reply to Spouse/kids excluded from family event

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is also telling that your chose to finish your post with dramatic "DH loves me and the kids less now." Rather than having some understanding that his birth family excluded his new family from an important event, and ask how crushing this must be for him, and how he made a point that you need to be included, it seems like you did make it all about you, making his family right. Imagine if your attitude was, "It is too bad, but try to be civil as he is your brother and they are your parents, and even if they are acting poorly, take a high road?" I bet you know the reason ILS dislike you, and while I am not justifying their reasons, you do sound dramatic.[/quote]

eh, I don't think you are being fair. If there is any drama, Op's BIL is the one who started it by purposely and pointedly excluding Op and her children from the invite. Of course that is going to create drama, duh.  But BIL won't have to deal with the drama because Op and her kids won't be anywhere near him.  The one who gets the drama bomb lobbed into their marriage is Op and her husband.  And Op's husband is now put in this position of choosing between his family of origin or his own wife and kids.  Nice.

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So you are telling me that when your DH gets and invite in his name to bar mitzvah, your first thought is to call the person inviting and ask if the whole family was invited? If my DH got the invite to his sister's wedding, I would assume that me and the kids were invited too unless specified. Certainly, sticklers for form would address to Smith Family, but if they didn't call about the invite, they would have all showed up at the event and that would have been the end of it. Yet, he called to make sure his wife and kids are invited? That is not what grown men married for 10 years do. Of course anybody normal would assume YOU meant all of them, why didn't her DH assume that? There is way more going on here. Somebody is hiding something. OP, are you a second wife, who broke a marriage? Does he have kids over there? You were also told to stay at home with the nanny? Why? And why bring this up if it was ages ago? Are you bringing up imagined slights and seeing slights in smallest gestures? So, what if your DH and his brother went out on their own? Do you begrudge him some one on one time with his brother? It is clear that you do. Most likely you caused a big fight over this "slight" and your DH told his brother, almost all the reasons for ILS to dislike DIL or SIL come from their own child or sibling bad mouthing their spouse. [/quote]

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