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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The reason it sets him off is that you seem determined to belittle his sister and think of reasons to dislike her. (Doesn't text on your birthday? Come on. I don't expect my sister-in-law to observe my birthday! Or my kids' birthdays.)
 
This is his family. He feels a sense of loyalty to them. You don't seem to understand that or respect it. Indeed, you seem threatened by it.

[/quote]

You have totally misread the situation, which I appreciate would be easy to do based on a paragraph from me.  I don't belittle his sister, and I certainly don't look for reasons to dislike her.  I don't have a sister, and I would have loved for us to be close, but that just isn't going to happen.  And you seriously don't remember your niece and nephew's birthdays?  Perhaps I'm the ridiculous one for making sure we always get them presents and wishing them a happy birthday.  To me, that seemed like the kind of thing that family should do.  It's not a big family - it's just my husband and SIL and they live 45 minutes from us.  And I am in no way threatened by whatever sense of loyalty he has to his family.  This is not a situation where I clash with my MIL or FIL or have had fights with anyone in his family.  He never talks to his sister - I'm the one who handles all the gifts for the nieces and nephews, and I'm the one who helps to plan family get-togethers.  In an abstract way he'll say he wants the cousins to spend time together, but never actually does anything to make that happen.[/quote]

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