Reply to Optimistic that I am going to fix my "default parent" situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll never understand how people in healthy marriages think keeping score is a good thing. [/quote]

Same here.  And 150 items?  Wow.  That is nuts.  Maybe if the list only had 20 items, that would make sense, but if you're getting into the minutiae, you are trying too hard to prove a point--that you are resentful that your DH doesn't recognize your worth.[/quote]

+1 Researching dentists? You are making up reasons to make yourself feel valued.[/quote]

...? How else do you find a dentist?  It's not like they fall from the sky.  You have to figure out which ones are actually good dentists, which are close enough to be feasible, which take your insurance or have reasonable prices ... ideally this is a one-time project, but it still takes time.  And if you're the one who ALWAYS does this sort of task, it definitely adds up.  [/quote]

Went to Yelp, saw a 5 star dentist in my neighborhood, looked up on insurance website, made an appointment.  That was 3 years ago and it took 10 minutes.  Dentist sends automated e-mail reminders and allows us to make appointments online.  About 5 minutes every 6 months.

It's just the type of thing one does without really thinking about it.  It's not even worth writing it down on a list and crossing it off. [/quote]

Great, well, I have found finding a pediatric dentist to be much trickier and wanted more reliable sources than Yelp.  Yes, once I found one, I didn't have to do it again. But the point is, it took around an hour all told, and I do stuff like that EVERY WEEK.  It adds up.  Nobody is saying that they spend hours every week researching dentists; but this is one example of they types of tasks that happen recurrently for the default parent. [/quote]

To me, the risk of picking a crappy pediatric dentist is pretty low.  They're counting teeth and brushing...if I don't like them, I can go down the street.  It's the same thing with people who interview pediatricians before their kid is born.  Why not just pick out one who is well reviewed and go? If it's not a fit, then go to another. [/quote]\

And then have records transferred to the new one? This is the stuff that adds up.[/quote]

And then deal when they screw up the billing.  And then make the next appointments, far enough in advance to get a good time slot.  And then listen to DH whine that it's too far away and they were running late.  And then they stop taking our insurance so we need a new one anyway.  Repeat for orthodontist, eye doctor, gyn, derm, and pediatrician, and it's a lot.[/quote]

What chore do you think is an equal trade for all the medical administration that you do?[/quote]

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