Reply to Workings parents of two -- how do you do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, the first year was difficult because I was sleep deprived. And nursing sucked. Once I got sleep and weaned, I handled everything much better.

I also did not marry a man child. My husband does plenty and shares the mental load of parenting and running our lives. We run things by each other, but we both notice when we're out of things or when the trash cans need to be brought in or whether the kids need clothes at daycare, etc. I would say we're the exception. Almost all of my friends have spouses who don't do this. As a result, they are either stressed and juggling it all and resentful or resigned that this is their life or they quit, being SAHMs, STILL do all of the house stuff and are either resigned or resentful.

We both handle sick days. We split drop offs and pick ups. We meal plan together, share a peapod account that we both add to and basically run things jointly. If anything, he handles more than I do because he has excellent executive functioning skills and is super organized.

Our kids are 3 and 5. It's actually a joy. I wouldn't think this when my kids were infants. [/quote]

OP here... yes, I remember that after about 1.5 yo with the first, things became downright easy. Good to know that after the chaos of the infant time, things will become more manageable. My husband is like yours, luckily -- I know it's not the norm. Our balance shifts over time depending on what's happening with our careers and there have definitely been years when he has done the bulk of the house stuff.

Any other tips for organization besides shopping/meal prep? We have a pretty good routine down with all of that, I think. What do you do for shopping for the kids' clothes/shoes/supplies? Juggling appointments/family calendars?  Not trying to get caught in the minutiae of daily life, and prioritizing meaningful family time (could even be through working together on house stuff)?

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For kids clothing, we basically buy their clothes two times a year -- late April and October. That's their spring/summer or fall/winter wardrobe. They get plenty from the grandparents in between, though. When it comes to supplies, we just respond to whatever the preschool wants.  For K, my DH has already looked and learned that it's a basic box of stuff we can order through the PTA. So, we'll just do that.

In terms of calendars, we have a shared google calendar that is synced with our outlooks. We both put things into it and we both check it on Sundays to see what's what. We do a peapod delivery on Friday night and supplement with a short shopping for fresh fruit and vegetables on Sundays (unless we go to a farmers market). Sunday is laundry day. DH basically does everyone's laundry, including mine. He and I fold and put away the kids clothes while they play in their rooms and do ours in the evening (usually while we're drinking a glass of wine).

The kids clothes are put into one of these on Sunday. We pull out each kids outfit in the morning and it's got everything needed including socks/underwear. We use something like this. https://www.amazon.com/Whitmor-Shelf-Hanging-Accessory-Bag/dp/B00K5NBQFA/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_201_lp_t_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=B7WHPXCTKS4J7QX291N5

Cooking. We meal plan on Saturday and create a shopping list that is either fed into pea pod account or into a Wunderlist app on our phones (basically a list app that we can share). I usually cook, because I like it.

We pre-pack everyone's lunch the night before. DH and I also basically map out our outfits for the week, so we're not running around wondering where something is in the morning.

In terms of cleaning, we have a cleaning lady once every two weeks. DH usually cleans up dinner while I am putting the kids to bed. He usually pops in right before lights out, though.

We're sort of regimented, but it works for us. If you want to have spontaneity, I think it would be more difficult.
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