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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ I wasn't discounting this load, just want to make sure the OP realizes other ways his life will change if his wife works more. Often primary wage earners, men in particular, take for granted that their job is the priority and are less likely to be flexible when something comes up and one of the parents needs to take time off for the kids. Not having to worry about that because one parent is either SAHM or works parttime is HUGE.[/quote]

Can you concretely characterize the daily workload the SAHM carries? I have three active  Younger kids in the OP, and there are periods of planning, such as summer camps, or change of seasons for sports and activities. And then there's the taking the kids to the activities, but there really isn't that much time  nothing like an actual job. I am not sure this is some kind of unified  propaganda that SAHM use together to pull the wool over their breadwinners eyes  over why they have to stay home.

It's not like OP career doesn't take investment in planning outside of his day-to-day work, maybe he is just punching it in, but in order to actually succeed and keep your job it takes more than just showing up for a paycheck.  Further apparently he handles ALL financial affairs. [/quote]

I don't think I can characterize it in that way. And I'm not saying she shouldn't work more. Remember that she is already working parttime and earning 20-30K a year, so it's not like she's spending all her time as a leach. I'm sure she could work harder. I'm sure you work harder than she does. Still, this situation may be better for this family than another. It's just important to keep all these things in mind when approaching her about this, and I want him to consider other ways his life will be affected when she is no longer as flexible as she has been for years. I have so many friends who work full time and get frustrated by husbands who still assume that those random, unpredictable parenting issues are the wife's to address most if not all of the time. I don't think OP should go in by putting her an allowance, but talking to her (again) about the need for a monthly budget and working together to figure out what that means is a good idea. It's necessary. He can show he's worried, if he is. That's part of being a spouse, to listen to and address each other's concerns.[/quote]

This woman has children in middle school and takes no responsibility for the family budget.  You are giving way too much credit here.  You seem to be assuming that she's coming from a place where she has considered the issues you raise and decided that this what works best for the family.  I hear OP's post and picture someone who has put on blinders and wants to be taken care of.  [/quote]

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