Reply to Trying to prevent having an affair with my co-worker

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been married over 10 years. Early 40s, young kids, great husband.  I've never been unfaithful to him but have had a couple crushes on other men throughout the years.  Life is a grind and hard in the sense that it has gotten a little boring and predictable.

The latest crush is for a man who is 20 years older, a mentor to me, with whom I've Worked closely for a long time.  The crush has been going strong for 1.5 years, though in the past few months it has died down some.  He's married in a open relationship (totally in love with his wife, but they've both had long love affairs with others and don't believe in monogamy).  The crush and I have talked about our attraction to one another.  I've explained that my marriage is pure and that I can't compromise that.  He has talked at length about his relationship  history and relationships both within and outside his marriage.  He's never had an affair with a colleague before or someone with such a big age spread.

We've got two work trips coming up, so there is an opportunity to get physical.  I don't want to mess up my family, my integrity, my karma, my career.  But I want to be close to this man so badly and think and fantasize about him constantly.

What should I do?  How do I resist?  Tell me how little I mean to him and how much I mean to my husband and kids.
[/quote]

I am sorry you feel like your relationship has hit a boring patch, life happens and sometimes that can happen too, but it doesn't have to stay that way, and certainly thinking about others isn't going to help you keep your marriage as pure as you may like. Take it from someone who has been a cheater in the past, it starts in the brain and goes from there. Stop dwelling on this other man and put that effort back into your marriage. If they are as great as you say, then they should be worth fighting for. I lost everything doing what I felt I wanted and it didn't end well for anyone. Good luck to you.[/quote]

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