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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do not know what to do. My husband would be very content with sex every 2, 3, maybe even 4 weeks. I would prefer to have sex maybe 4-5 times per week. I ENJOY sex. Not only do I struggle with the fact that our sex drives are so different, I struggle even more with the idea that he just doesn't want to have sex with me. How absolutely demeaning is it to fight with your spouse about having sex with you. It has destroyed any emotional component of it for me.

We should not have gotten married, it was so stupid. Now we are tied up financially and parentally with two small kids and the logistics of a divorce are so overwhelming to me.

The latest, he is telling me that I am the one with an abnormal sex drive and that I should see a doctor (in response to me kindly suggesting that he should see a doctor to have his testosterone tested).

I am attractive. I am not overweight. There is nothing wrong with my physical appearance at all whatsoever. Men hit on me constantly. I am a normal social person with friends, I am not a weirdo or anything. I also have a good job and a high income. I don't know why I am having to deal with this but it just sucks so much. Tonight I suggested an open marriage and that was unacceptable. What else can I do?[/quote]

For heaven's sake, you can find another husband down the road and have great sex like my friend did. However, she had bigger 
problems in other areas. I see it as BOTH of your problem. Compromise say every two weeks at first, from there every weekend. If the marriage is good in the other departments you are over reacting imo.  I look at my friends who are older, and there's not many good men out there past 35. Do you want to divorce and date a man with kids, a involved ex, and put your kids in a position of having steps they don't want. Having to go from home to home, possibly fighting in court like some I know due to differences in custody or child support..I know two couples who fought for 7 years over money, kids, and current bf/gf they didn't want around their kids.

I would weigh everything very carefully because I know quite a few that are more miserable in their 2nd marriages with problems they didn't foresee. Not to mention the big financial hit.  As for the open marriage, I find that disgusting with kids and basically you've already hinted to your spouse you are planning to sleep around. You may not have a choice and end up divorced if he get's fed up, or you do...but again I think you need to put things in perspective.[/quote]

This. 
I had a friend who divorced in her late 30s; her low drive ex had no problem finding a long term girl friend pretty much right away; she has had nothing but problems, cheating high drive boyfriends, and is now doing one night stands so she won't go completely crazy. She has no problems finding someone to sleep with temporarily, huge problems finding a compatible boyfriend / husband. In her case, the high drive guys she finds typically cheat on her. [/quote]

That's because marriage is a healthy balance. If one thinks it's all about their needs constantly being met they should remain single. I find it sad when people have kids and don't put the kids first. Why there are so many messed up adults as this board illustrates time and time again.[/quote]

My mother put us kids first, and that caused a tremendous rift with my dad.[/quote]

Good for your mother, she was the one that was right. [/quote]

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