Reply to Do you regret being childless by choice later in life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In the past 10 years several people who where childless have become ill and died. Only two had a parents who were still alive. The end of there lives were pretty lonely, in nursing home or hospice care. They all were vulnerable without an younger advocate.

As we age our parents pass, siblings get old, die or have their own families to care for. It's true that you can't count on kids to step up when you need them. But that may be all you have one day.

[/quote]

Most everyone I know who has died in old age (versus dying from an accident or unexpected issue as a younger adult) has died in hospice care.  And usually, the last month, they didn't even recognize the people around them.

A grandparent of mine died last year.  She didn't recognize her own children for basically the last year of her life.  My grandparent would have been better off in nursing care b/c my relative who cared for her really was not fit to do so, but she didn't want to put my grandparent in a nursing home because it would've meant giving up assets.  It was a pretty sad and miserable situation.  There was a lot of arguing among family members.

She finally did go into hospice care, and honestly, the hospice workers cared for her better than anyone else could.

Maybe I'm cynical, but I think the end of life is likely going to be hard and difficult no matter how you slice it.  I'm not sure you should base a decision about whether to have children on that.

As an aside, as much as people raise that as an issue, you'd think as a society we would do more to ensure better eldercare.  But we don't.  Instead of making childless women afraid that they're going to die alone and likely be abused, exploited, and/or neglected in the days leading up to that, how about advocate for better eldercare all around?  It would be better for everyone that way -- even, and perhaps especially, your children.[/quote]

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