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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

+1 You need to TALK to her. Note that you are naturally more inclined to take care of finances. She will probably agree. Say you would have liked to approach her earlier about unemployment but felt like you were intruding. Agree together that in the future, you will be more involved with her finances even if that means nagging to get things done.

Also let her know that you're concerned about her unemployment. You could couch it in terms of "I feel stressed. I can only imagine how you feel. What can I do to help?"

Maybe also agree on timelines. If she doesn't find something within 3 months of being fired, you'd like to get more involved. Maybe she'll say "OK, why not get involved now?" Or "No, this is my responsibility. Back off."

But you won't know until you TALK![/quote]

OP here. Thanks so much for this - I am inclined to use these exact phrases. :)

I have been reluctant to talk to her about any of this because 1) she is an adult and I don't want her to think I can't do this on her own, and 2) she is prone to depression so I am trying not to talk about it much at all. I am trying to take her mind off of it by taking her out to dinner, going to the movies, talking, all the things we normally enjoy. Even though we have talked about every topic under the sun, it is hard for me to bring up a lot of these things as I don't want her to further descend into a funk.[/quote]

It's okay to say all of this, too! "I didn't want to bring this up because I didn't want you to think I didn't trust you, and I didn't want to make things worse. But I love you, and I want to help you." And then if she says "Back off" like the cranky posters in this thread, then do so! But it was at her request (or demand).

I don't want to sound like the other overdramatic doomsayers, but this really is a good test for your future marriage. Not in how you handle finance or how she procrastinates, but in how you COMMUNICATE through a tough time. Good luck![/quote]

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