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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

So what would you tell, say, your daughter if she was in this scenario and woefully unhappy? "Honey, I know your life blows, but you really need to suck it up and pretend to be happy for the next 10 years. You chose to give up your life when you had kids. You don't matter anymore."? Really? [/quote]

You are putting words in my mouth that i would never say.  I would tell her to take a very hard look at her finances and get a realistic picture of what joint custody and dealing with a stepmom will actually be like.  Nobody is saying she gave up her life or that she doesn't matter.  But divorce is trading one set of problems for another and there is no guarantee of being happier.  I would tell her to get a therapist, take care of herself, and pursue her own happiness within the marriage as best she can, and only dovorce after she has truly tried her best to avoid it.  Nobody is asking her to pretend to be happy, just don't expose the kids to conflict and stop chasing the fiction that a new man will fix her unhappiness.  Romantic relationships are not everything in life and we can all find happiness whether married, dating, or single, because there are so many other parts of life to sustain us.[/quote]

Of course there is no guarantee of being happier if you leave. But there is a guarantee of being miserable if you stay. And no one is saying romantic relationships are the apex of life. I'm divorced myself. No kids. I found complete happiness being single. I'm mature enough to know I don't need, and shouldn't depend on another person to make me feel happy and complete. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let another person PREVENT me from being happy. [/quote]

Exactly this.  As someone late 40s with a child, the decision I'm making now about getting divorced is the hardest I've ever had to make.  Believe me, I'm not going through this hell so I can find a cute new boyfriend to make me happy.  I'm at a point where I don't think I can handle being this miserable much longer.  Finding someone new isn't on my list of priorities.
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