Reply to Do money factor into you marrying your husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married for love. I did have some of the same questions as you OP when my DH and I were getting ready to get engaged because he was never going to be a super high earner (he is an academic).

At first things were uncertain and difficult (we also had to move a lot for his career early on), and I wondered if I made a mistake not going for one of the other guys who I could have dated in my 20's living in NYC.

I chose my husband because he is an AWESOME PERSON who I truly love and respect and who treats me excellently and who I trust in a very deep way.

Now that things have stabilized for us and the really difficult stuff is gone (at least for now - life is crazy after all), I am happier than anyone could be even though we are not rich.

It is easy for me to remember now why I didn't date some of the guys back from my 20's - they were SELFISH (high earners often are). They wouldn't have been attentive to my emotional needs and they wouldn't have helped with kids. I knew intuitively I guess that for me this was not going to fly.

When you choose a partner there are various things to balance. Money is one of them yes but it is not everything.

if you actually love your fiance, you might want to discuss the possibility of your both moving to a lower cost of living area. That can go a long way in feeling financially secure and not having to deal with constant financial pressure in life.  
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This is a nice story bc all you ever here on this thread is 1) i married  my DH for love when he was making $40k but it worked out because now he makes $400k 2) I filtered for income and now stay home with my law partner husband or 3) I filtered for income but I bet in the wrong horse and now I'm bitter I have to work. [/quote]

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