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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's no code to crack. Hold on to your preferences and continue the dating experiences you've been having of being dropped by "your type" after first date or be less superficial when you meet ATTRACTIVE women who just have different colored hair or eyes and are slim but taller than "exceptionally petite" (what does that even mean?)[/quote]

My original post was geared toward asking for advice about how to "be yourself" when you feel the stakes are higher than usual because you've landed a date with someone who checks all the boxes. Since such dates are rarer than ones that do not check all the boxes, I feel that I'm unable to relax and put my best face forward. The thread originally had ZERO to do with my preferences but I (unwisely perhaps) decided to be honest with other posters who were asking for that information. I could have said I have a preference for red heads with disabilities and it wouldn't detract from my original point requesting help for how not to get too "on edge" when you find yourself on a date with someone you really "Feel it" for.[/quote]

The women who meet your criteria are probably picking up on the fact that there is something off-putting about your preferences. As a woman I can tell you that I have been asked on and been on many dates. The men that I never give a second chance are those who clearly are interested in me only because I look good, I'm successful and ambitious - in their words. Yes these are the things that most men are initially attracted to but if he doesn't show a genuine interest in my life, my personality, my beliefs he's out and if he shows that he would not be open to dating women of his own race - at least, or even other races - I see him as being superficial and he's out.

My friend used to be only attracted to men of her own race and she said she was open to the idea of dating men of other races but just wasn't physically attracted to them. Then she met someone of a different race who she grew a genuine liking for and then a physical attraction. All of the men she's dated since then have been of another race than hers and she's physically attracted to them but she would not have given them second look a few years ago. She's still open to dating men of her own race but this is just the way it's been recently. More men of other races also approach her now because they can see she's GENUINELY open to dating them.

People can sense your attitude. When she was sure that she didn't find men of other races attractive their was nothing happening. Now that I am truly open to other types of men there are many asking her for dates and some she is attracted to. A person who is unable to learn from experience and grow, is not attractive.[/quote]

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to date exclusively within your own race or culture.[/quote]

I agree with you. The point was that once she realized that she could be attracted to men of other races, her dating pool and options widened dramatically. There is something wrong with wanting to date people of a different race or culture and not your own.[/quote]

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