Reply to Is it cheating to have a conference husband?

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Reply to "Is it cheating to have a conference husband?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have to ask, the answer is yes. I would not be OK with my partner having "boozy, flirty" dinners with someone of the opposite sex. I also would not be OK with the fact that they look forward to it like a lovestruck schoolgirl. Lastly I would not be OK that you "like having this little secret." You are not being a good spouse. At all. [/quote]

OP, your post truly is a plea for someone here to tell you that since you're already nearly there, of course it's OK to go ahead and sleep with this man.

The fact that you're turning to a board full of total strangers to validate your desire to have sex with him is truly sad.

Like PP says -- if you have to ask if it's cheating, then you already know it's cheating.

You are on the very edge of turning a fantasy into a sordid reality that could wreck your marriage. What you're doing already, without sex, is quite capable of wrecking your marriage as an emotional affair (and wrecking the man's marriage as well).

You need to stop going wherever he will be. If your work absolutely demands that you and only you must attend these particular conferences, then you need to change your job or take your husband with you to these events -- if they're really all that essential. But if you truly value your marriage you will suck it up and either say you can't attend these things or you'll leave the job. Period. Don't use "I have to go to these conferences for work!" as your validation either.

You have a chance here to dodge the bullet and re-invest in your marriage. You seem to have no problems with your husband (that you mention), only a crush on this other man and easy opportunities to see him again and again in consequence-free settings. Take yourself out of those settings or you're choosing to put him ahead of your marriage. If you have kids: You're putting that flirty young-again feeling ahead of your kids. Please stop seeking validation for an affair and make the effort to stop seeing him, ever again, and stop the communications in between, no matter how innocuous they seem. YOU know they are not innocuous in your own mind. Stop it.

I know all that sounds harsh and it's meant to be; however, I get where you're coming from more than I"m going to discuss here. That's why I hope you'll stop yourself before you do something you cannot ever undo. It may seem harmless but it will eat you over time.

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