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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  Resurrecting this thread.  Things have become far worse.  DS insists he doesn't want to go to his father's house, his father is refusing to meet with him anywhere but there.  DS asked me to pull the plug.  He's 12 years old, he can make up his mind.  Ex-DH threatened to call the cops if DS doesn't come to his house and have them physically bring DS there.  The lawyers are involved.  [/quote]

Child knows you don't want the visits and is trying to side with you.  He is 12, no he cannot make up his own mind.  Can he choose to go to school?  Can he choose to go to the doctor?  No.  Step up and be a parent and tell him you expect him to comply with the visits.  Cops will not bring child there but he can file in court and make things very difficult and expensive for you.[/quote]

At 12, children have significant say in court about spending time with parents. If there is documentation of unwelcoming atmosphere for biochild in dad's house, it is unlikely courts will force visitation.  Dad will have to spend funds to file to enforce visitation.  Thag seems unlikely if miney is tight.  Alsk Dad will jot be seen as angel in picture if he is seen to be spurning compromises offered to enable continued visitation.[/quote]

Actually mom has to prove abuse or neglect.  Dad and stepmom are annoying.  Both mom and dad will have a custody battle.  When my husband's ex did this to him, the judge actually gave him more, not less time.  It really depends on the judge.  At 12, kids can have a say but parents also have the right to visitation.  [b]This sounds like a mom set up situation.[/b][/quote]

No it doesn't.  Dad decides to share his life with a woman who has kids.  All fine and dandy.  But when those kids decide to be assholes to his son he needs to step in and fix the situation.  Instead of insisting that his son HAS to spend time with them, he needs to make sure that his son isn't treated like a red-headed step child in his father's house.  Grow up.[/quote]

Completely disagree. This is the reality of divorce. You can't shield your kids from your ex unless they are horrifically abusive. This situation doesn't meet that standard. And yes, running to court is just going to be an expensive waste of time (because OP will be paying her laywer and her ex's because she'll lose and that's a common tactic judges use to prevent nonsense hearings like this).

OP needs to focus on ways to build a better relationship with her ex for her son. She needs to stop the negativity and she needs to figure out a way to bridge the divide until the kid is old enough to decide (and it's very rarely 12. Try 15.).[/quote]

I don't think a child being essentially bullied in his father's house in nonsense.  And I find it funny that you think OP should fix the situation that the father and his wife created.  Sure, she can MAKE her son go.  But that father/son situation is not going to get fixed.  [/quote]

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