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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I have just been chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby boy due in 5 weeks. We are 48 and 50.  This is after a long process of miscarriage and IVF.  We are healthy, take care of ourselves and have the means.  Are we too old?  As far as we can tell the pregnancy is healthy and so is our soon to be little boy.  We've gotten medical records and have email exchanges and Skype meetings with our birthmother.[/quote]

It's not about the pregnancy or infant being healthy, it's about *you and your husband* being healthy, of course. You're being obtuse.[/quote]

Its actually about both.  If child turns out to have SN and needs life long care and parent/s die at 70 when child is 20 how is that for the child.  Its an issue.

We were told we were getting a healthy child.  We have medical records and much much more.  Reality is birthfather is a huge drug addict (they lied about it) and who knows if/what the birthmom used.  Child has SN.  We are very grateful for him but we spend every day in expensive therapies.  I cannot work because of it.   Adoption is't always as you are told.  It was not for us.  We had what seemed like the perfect adoption.   Its far from that when the truth came out.  I'd do it again for this child, but just know things are not always as they appear (sometimes they are).[/quote]

We were 51 and 46 when our twin children (via donor egg) were born.  Our parents were 85, 80 and 79 when the children were born and are still alive, healthy and supportive at 91, 86 and 85 (my father in law passed away from a genetic heart disorder that was not passed on to any of his children).  We have a healthy, long-lived family.  I used to work with a guy who died of a heart attack at age 45 when his daughter was 12.  His family had a history of heart issues and his father also died before the age of 50.  If you evaluated him at at 33 when his daughter was born vs me when my children were born, I think my family health history makes me a far safer candidate to live to my children's adulthood than him.

It's not always about age.  It's about the parents' health and family history.  That will give you a better picture of if a parent is more likely to be around until the child's adulthood.

That said, another issue is that if the child were to end up with SN, an older wealthy parent is also going to be a better choice than a younger, less financially stable parent.  SN often needs resources to help treat and/or manage the SN.  Having enough financial resources to afford expensive specialists, treatments, equipment, or conveniences without budgetary concerns can significantly help in raising a SN child.[/quote]

Wish we could connect in real life PP.  I had my twins days shy of my 45th b'day.  Would be great to have a true peer!  :-)[/quote]

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