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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you PP, I wrote that post!  DCUM has been my lifeline for the good and the bad, and the sometimes even dark times I've gone through in this role I never expected.  I'm so glad we have this forum in which to share and to support each other.  There are so many dimensions to the feelings we have as parents of a child that does not fit the mold.  OP touched on a dimension that few of us have the courage to admit.  It took me years to get over the feeling of loss at having a SN child.  I realize now my perspective was all wrong.  My child is a good person - he is loving, kind, funny and smart in his own way.  I am truly blessed.  Getting to that point has made me a much better parent for my son.  [/quote]

You're SO very welcome!
As I said in my post, just from reading your words it's so clear what a wonderful mother you are & how lucky your son is to have you.
It's not easy, we put one foot in front of the other, do what we need to do, love in the way that they need to be loved & research Google every free minute we have to see if there's something we may be missing (argh Google... both a blessing AND a curse!).  Not all information is GOOD information.

My son has ADHD & while I absolutely realize that it's nowhere near as severe as the OP's child or most in here, it does have it's own set of challenges. 
You would think with inattentive ADHD that my son wouldn't have the attention span, impulse control or thought process to show such inclusion, [b]patients[/b] & empathy, but that's exactly what he's done with one person alone... his cousin.
My nephew has Aspergers & those two are like two peas in a pod.  My son will talk for hours with him about the ins & outs & every piece of knowledge & fact that there is about the only 3 things that my nephew has ANY interest in (dinosaurs, Minecraft & legos).  My son never tries to impulsively interrupt him or change the subject & if my nephew is having a particularly "honest & fact based" conversation which can come across as extremely harsh & hurtful (which of course my nephew doesn't realize at all & is never intentional), my son knows to take it in stride & not to ever take it personally.  He understands most though that touch & sounds are very sensitive to his cousin, so he takes social cues from my nephew & never, ever tries to overstep those boundaries.

How my son is with my nephew is the ONLY time that he's so patient, quiet, reserved, disciplined & aware of exactly what he says & the things that he does... I'm amazed by the lengths he will go to just to have that time for the 2 of them alone to love his cousin & spend time with him (and wish there was even a tenth of that shown at school, lol).

In turn, my nephew has told my son that he trusts him & wants his help in making more friends, which is HUGE for him (he doesn't trust anyone besides his parents).  
My son has taken that trusting relationship & told my nephew how he could possibly have said things nicer on a particular "truthful" day, or if he noticed that he may have been short with someone moments before, maybe to apologize or give them a compliment where he would never think one was needed or necessary.  One thing they have been working on is telling him to remember to make eye contact when speaking & so what he's done is placed a star sticker on his hand (as he always looks at his hands when speaking) the star reminds him to occasionally look up & regardless if it's just a 2 second glance, he does look up!

They've both really flourished from this relationship, which has done wonders for them both... I never would have thought so & others warned us against it, but it has worked better than many others have suggested.  Sometimes alternative methods that nobody has thought of before or that we couldn't find on Google work... I don't know why, but they do.

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your son?[/quote]

*patience (damn you talk to text!)[/quote]

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