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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.

OP, based on your other linked thread and this one, I think that you (and your DH) are still too immature to be married.  Neither of you handle interpersonal relationships well.

You dated as teenagers, had high school drama caused by your then-BF's best friend.  That needed to be aired and resolved between you, your DH, his best friend and family before you became engaged.  You seemingly left this hanging over your young lives and got married, so you left drama in your lives.  Since then, you canceled your wedding and eloped.  I'm sure that didn't help your cause.  While I understand that you had an issue with a family member dying just before your wedding, you should have tried to reschedule, at least a small family event.  For a family anticipating a wedding, then having a family member dying and their family member eloping instead of holding even a belated wedding, it also didn't help to endear you to them.  Finally, you seem to take offense at a lot and create drama.  I understand that your SIL is abrasive, but your response and reactions are not particularly mature either.

Even at 25/26, you both seem to act very much like immature high school teens and I think you need to mature a little. [/quote]

We did try to reschedule the wedding. Multiple times. None of DH's family would agree with us on a date. DH told them I never cheated and explained all of that. I'm not sitting here taking offense to trivial things. SIL actually makes sure I know she doesn't like me or think of me as family as she's actually said it. I asked her if she meant it later and she said she likes me just not when she feels I control her brother. I don't control my husband, hes a grown man. I thought things were ok between us so the comment hurt my feelings[/quote]

I still think that you lack maturity, even based on your responses.

If the family cannot agree on a date then you reschedule the wedding for a date that works for most of his family, and you hold the wedding.  Just eloping and giving up on a wedding because you can't get others to agree on a date is immature.  If SIL makes a comment saying she doesn't like you or doesn't think of you as family, you respond directly to her, tell her to stop making comments about you not being part of the family, especially around your husband and your child.  Also have your husband respond likewise to his sister.  But being passive aggressive about this, including taking offense at a comment about how much your nephew loves his uncle, your husband and then unfriending your SIL is not a mature response.  If she says she feels that you control your husband, explain that he's an adult and you don't control him.  You and he discuss whatever is going on in your lives like adults and he makes his own decisions.  Just because you give him your 2 cents before he makes his own choices is not controlling.

Yes, you should not just ignore her comments.  Don't create drama by being angry or strident or even getting upset.  Just respond strongly to her that her comments are inappropriate and unappreciated and she needs to stop making them in front of your husband and child.[/quote]

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