Reply to Is anyone in a marriage where the DH is the default parent?

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Reply to "Is anyone in a marriage where the DH is the default parent?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to get your act together. You were likely born a lazy person. You need to stop hiding behind ppd and "cabin in the woods." You are taking advantage of him. He's kind enough to step up and do the adulting, and then you throw that in his face by saying that makes you resentful.

Here's what you should do:

1. Wake up 30 mins early to get ready and head downstairs to help your husband and kids get ready in the morning. At the very least, be present.

2. Take responsibility for dinner a few times a week.

3. Or...baby steps: take full responsibility for the laundry. Laundry is literally the easiest job in the house. Heck, my kids know how to do it.

4. Stop being lazy. And stop criticizing the mess.

[/quote]
So how are you going to get your act together and stop being a bitch? You were likely just born that way but you've really got to do better! And I wish for you what you've given to OP, that someone kicks you when you are down. [/quote]

I'm actually in the throes of depression myself, yet I don't have the luxury of throwing in the towel, sitting on my ass, and bitching about it. I didn't need a wake-up call, but op sounds like she does.

Google enabling. It's not helpful.

Seriously, op...you need to try. Just try. There's no reason why you need quiet alone time to dress in the morning while your husband handles the kids. Why can't you try to wake up 30 mins early and help...or at the very least be present? I didn't suggest you shoulder the burden yourself.

Why can't you run a load of laundry? It literally takes less than one minute to toss it in and hit start. There's no legit reason why you can't help with the laundry. Ditto for folding it and putting it away (or at the very least folding it).

If I were in your shoes, I would worry that my husband was holding it together until the kids leave...and that he will leave once they are out of the house. Not many people are equipped to tolerate a freeloader.

You are depressed. So am I. But I'm not a helpless freeloader. Are you? That's your choice. Give into depression or fight. [/quote]
Sounds like posting and reaching out for advice is the next step in her attempt to fight and claw her way back to normal. Good thing posters like you are here to make that as difficult as possible for her. [/quote]

No clue how suggesting that she try to do something...anything...is making this difficult for her.

Telling her that it's okay to maintain the status quo certainly isn't helpful. [/quote]

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