Reply to Is anyone in a marriage where the DH is the default parent?

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Reply to "Is anyone in a marriage where the DH is the default parent?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I wonder if you're still reading. This thread has oscillated pretty wildly and I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. My husband developed depression after our second child was born - he had an awful professional setback and kid #2 had horrendous reflux and the combination just sent him into a bad place. I never heard as much sympathy here when I posted as what you had on the first few pages here, so yeah, I think there is a bit of a double standard.

I'm not going to call you names etc, but you need to take some responsibility for your situation. Treatment alone is not enough - you need to start doing some of what it takes to manage your family life. There is no magic pill that is going to make you enjoy all aspects of this, or even feel like you have the energy to do it. But simply going through the motions of laundry, getting dinner, etc can be enough and it can be empowering too.

Your husband shares some responsibility too - he needs to let go and put some of the burden back on your plate. He may not want to do that, either because he is afraid for you or because he'd rather just get it done himself. But believe me the time will come where he will have his own dark thoughts if you don't change your dynamic.

Good luck OP.[/quote]

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