Reply to Is anyone in a marriage where the DH is the default parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH definitely handles the majority of the load in our house (cooking, cleaning, groceries, kids).  I take car of laundry and finances and try to help with everything, but like you it's hard when he seems to be so much better at it than I am and I find myself holding back.  I have also struggled with depression and know the feeling of "I can't do this the way that I feel that I should so I'm not going to bother trying so I don't get disappointed by the result."  I know that DH is amazing and I try to just force myself to do what I can to help out because I want to take care of him (and all of them) but frequently I feel like I should be doing more.

We also have the dynamic where the kids prefer me a lot of the time and the "mommommommommommommommommommom" can be soooo draining.

This past year has been better - the kids are finally sleeping better and letting me get a full nights sleep regularly again.  I have found that alone has helped immensely for me being more involved around the house.

Honestly, I think what got me through PPD with #2 was the crisis  when DH went away on a business trip a few weeks after I went back to work and right as he left the nanny gave notice, the kids both came down with colds and then I developed mastitis.  In the middle of dealing with all of that, I decided that if I could handle that and make it through then I could handle life with kids.[/quote]

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