Reply to Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I ended it and then quit my job so that I won't be on the same project that takes me to the city where I met her. While I can never be positive of anything, when I told her that I couldn't continue and that I couldn't see or contact her anymore, she said she understood and agreed that it was the right thing to do.

To the PP who said it wasn't a mistake, there are different levels of mistakes. My mistake was underestimating the magnitude of my actions. I was mistaken to think that this was just trivial and only affected me so I could handle it. That was a grave mistake and I will never forget it.  [/quote]

Your relationship with your wife has been permanently changed.

You can either keep this secret and live the rest of your life trying to atone for the fact that you lie by omission every morning when you see your wife's face, or you can tell her and deal with the fallout of your betrayal.

No matter what any of us thinks you should or shouldn't tell her, you need to be discussing this with a therapist. If you do decide to tell her you will want that guidance and support - and if you decide not to tell her, you're going to need some help coping with the fact you'll be living a lie for the rest of your life. Either way, professional guidance will help you salvage what you can and make the best choices moving forward.[/quote]

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