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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had an affair. It was a mistake. I was weak and acted selfishly. It is over and I want to devote all of my energy to my marriage. Should I come clean to her or should I bury that secret? [/quote] An affair is not "a mistake." Leaving your coat at the gym is a mistake. Buying the wrong kind of milk is a mistake. An affair is a series, possibly hundreds or thousands, of willful lies and deceptions. Don't minimize it. If she suspects, you are better off coming clean. If she suspects and asks and you deny (which is what most cheaters so), your trust is destroyed if it comes out later that you were lying all this time. If she doesn't suspect, I recommend you confess to a counselor or a priest or a clergy. Unload the burden of guilt you are carrying, but don't saddle her with it unecessarily.[/quote]
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