Reply to How do I let my fiancée know she made a terrible mistake with her hair?

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Reply to "How do I let my fiancée know she made a terrible mistake with her hair?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a potential spouse you both should be part of the decision. She sounds awful [/quote]

+1 I've been married 20 years and I certainly want my dh to find my style attractive. Plus, I value his opinion as he picks better clothes for me than I do for myself. Obviously, I have to like my hair, too. But if he grew a beard or grew his hair out long enough for a ponytail and I hated it, I'd hope he'd take that into consideration.[/quote]

I know DCUM is very conservative and traditional leaning, but this is sad to me.[/quote]

WHY is that sad? I actually like it. I take my DH's wishes into consideration (keep my hair longer) and he takes mine into consideration (keeps his beard trimmed and not scraggly).  I think that is loving.[/quote]

I think it's controlling [/quote]

Controlling? Controlling would be if he said, "I don't like when you wear short skirts" or "I don't want you to wear the color black anymore." It's nothing like that, and I didn't say anything that would make it sound like he tells me what to do in regards to my appearance. I said that I value his opinion, the same as I would if a friend told me hers. If I went shopping with a friend and I asked "Does this look good on me?" I would hope she would tell me honestly. And if I try on an outfit at home and I asked my husband that question, I would hope he would also tell me honestly. If I got a new hair color and he thought it was unflattering, I would like to know that he thought so. He's my best friend, and luckily for me, has great taste, too.

Regarding our attraction being shallow, our attraction runs far deeper than the physical aspects after being very happily together as a couple for 25 years. It's not as he won't hold my hand in public or have sex with me until I change my hair color, for crying out loud. Whether or not he likes an outfit on me or the color of my hair really has little to do with if he finds me attractive or desirable. It's about me caring whether it's a good look because I do care about my appearance. So perhaps that is shallow, in your view. I can live with that. [/quote]

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