Reply to Fiancee with moderate income insists on private school for daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the insights, they are appreciated, even the ones that chewed me out.

What is resonating most for me is, I don't want my kids to feel like less-than, that they are going to a lesser school, esp when I pay a premium to live in a neighborhood with excellent, well-regarded schools.

[b]It also bothers me that much of her income - that should go towards our long-term goals like retirement and college for the kids - will be diverted for that purpose, and I will end up paying a disproportionate amount for the bills so she can do that[/b].[/quote]

You seem very focused on her income versus your income.  Be a team.  Not everything is going to be equal with your finances.  You're going to pay for things that you don't want to and vice versa.  You could get sick and have to retire early and she could end up supporting you.

You need to work on being a team and not viewing things as your money or hers.  You also need to show her the numbers of how much will be spent on this school and why it  is a problem for your budget.  Don't make it about your money versus hers.  The issue is that you're in this together and the school isn't something you can afford. [/quote]

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