Reply to Fiancee with moderate income insists on private school for daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the insights, they are appreciated, even the ones that chewed me out.

What is resonating most for me is, I don't want my kids to feel like less-than, that they are going to a lesser school, esp when I pay a premium to live in a neighborhood with excellent, well-regarded schools.

It also bothers me that much of her income - that should go towards our long-term goals like retirement and college for the kids - will be diverted for that purpose, and I will end up paying a disproportionate amount for the bills so she can do that.[/quote]

Your last paragraph is really the crux of the matter here and should be discussed, and I would go with a PP who mentioned having a 3rd party financial planner involved.
I would not make going to the financial planner just about this, but rather a general "I made an appt with a financial planner for us to help navigate how we are going to join expenses and make the best choices for our amazing future" kind of thing, and then let the planner lay out what impact that will have.
You will then have numbers to show her after the appointment about what it really looks like and what effect it is having on your joint lives.
Good luck OP, this is a tough one [/quote]

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