Reply to YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did not read all the pages of this thread but these issues are not as clear-cut as people like to make them out to be.  Based upon my own experiences as an adoptive parent, I could see medical and psychological professionals giving the advice that finding an alternative home for one child would be a better course than continuing to have the entire family---including the other minor children---live in the current home environment.  I know of situations where one child has had to go live with relatives, or in a residential treatment center, because the child's volatility in the home endangered the physical and psychological well-being of the other children.   We had to send one of our children to an RTC for a six month stint because I was not going to have our other children live in a violent household.  These are tragic circumstances.  I am horrified, however, in general by youtubers/influencers, what-have-you---who would violate the privacy of children by revealing all this on the internet.  [/quote]

It is a clear cut, especially based off your post.  There is a huge difference in sending a child to a relative for respite/support, or even a RTC.  You have gone to your breaking point, done everything you can and doing more by getting the help they need.  By sending a child to RTC, you are still their parents, you still have legal rights and if they can transition home, you would take them home.  This is a 4 year old child who came from another country with a different language, customs, etc and on top of that had a brain injury which was disclosed at placement.  It was clear that there would be long term issues.  They still choose to take it on.  And, now they got their money's worth, he is hampering their lifestyle and they gave him away.  Who gives away their child and immediately goes on vacation?

We adopted a child.  No one would have predicted SN.  We were in therapies 5 days a week.  I had to quit my job as cost/benefit of a nanny made no sense and I wanted consistent parenting.  We did everything we could and got lucky it worked (who knows if the therapies helped or not).  I cannot imagine at any point when it was hard that I would walk away.  If anything, it made me more determined to find the right providers, the right help and do everything in my power to give my child a chance to be successful and if not, I was going to save every dime I could to create a trust fund to make sure they had life long care.   There was no giving this child back.  There was no giving this child away.

This woman never bonded with this child and he was a lot of work.  They blame him for things like attachments but ultimately they never bonded as how can you just give your child away and be ok the next day.   We have had some pretty bad things happen.  I wasn't ok days after.  I grieved for years and still grieve, especially that related to a child.[/quote]

So proud of you, PP! You’re a good person. And it sounds like a great mom![/quote]

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