Reply to Confession Thread: What do you need to get off your chest?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the closeted lesbian:

WHY did you marry into a hetero relationship?

Have you met another woman with whom you felt a “connection” with while hiding behind your marriage facade?

Will you ever “come out”?

....I’m married in a heterosexual relationship yet I think about her ..this woman that I’m pretty sure had feelings for me, her demeanor gave me chills/ spidey senses. Well, she moved out of state. It’ll be a year since I’ve seen her. I will never see her again, I don’t know much about her yet she still runs through my thoughts. I never plan to leave my husband. I love him and I cannot imagine life without him. He is my everything; yet I still wonder and probably always will about what it’s like to be with a woman just not sexually,
but relationship wise-in another world, I would have dated J before meeting my hubby so I would have gotten it out of the way/system so speak. Sigh. [/quote]

NP. I don't know that I personally consider this being a lesbian. I think certain people can have an effect on us, regardless of gender, that is just overwhelming and inexplicable. That you are attracted to and fantasize about. That she may have displayed interest I think also heightens the 'what if?' component. Everyone is obviously free to identify how they choose, but at most it sounds like you have had sapphic thoughts, not that you are necessarily a lesbian. I do believe in a Kinsey scale of sorts, so perhaps this just challenged your previous assumption that you were straight, but if you were further on the scale towards lesbian, I would think you would have a lot more attraction to women in general, not this one dynamic person. It's all ok, whatever it is, this woman clearly rocked your world and made you think about yourself and your sexuality. Just wanted to let you know it doesn't have to be so binary between being married to a man ("straight") and having a thing for a woman ("lesbian") There is a LOT of gray![/quote]

PP here. Ah yes. I know. I wasn’t calling myself a lesbian. I wanted the woman who addressed herself as one to answer the questions I posted. 
I mentioned my narrative to maybe help this poster elaborate more on her own personal narrative.

I’m also familiar with the Kinsey scale. I am not straight but don’t identify as a lesbian. Ive experienced sexual fluidity....
I keep finding myself more interested in women as I’ve aged (31) but a decade ago it wasn’t  something I thought of

I still wonder about said woman because she did bring things out that I had to be realistic about,
and the way she acted towards me, I just wish I knew (although I know I never will) what her thoughts were and what her narrative is, and if she did experience any feels toward me. My gut said yes and I do take flattery on that.

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