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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.[/quote]

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness. [/quote]

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.[/quote]

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door. [/quote]

It sounds as though the girl had been taking a cab to/from school.  Her mom had asked for an alarm system for the house as a Christmas present.

I tend to agree with the PP that I would have taken the phone away and put her on restriction the first time I discovered that she had snuck a boy into the house.  Getting an alarm system installed would have been priority #1.  But that is assuming that I knew about her sneaking the boy in the house.  It's possible that the parents only recently found out that she had been doing that and simply had not had enough time to get an alarm system installed.  They couldn't take the girl out of town for Christmas break because they already had guests on the way to visit them.

It is so easy to say "Well I would have done X,Y,Z differently".

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