Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is your DH's family of origin's SES issue.  It is not a Bangladesh issue.

This is basically an extremely rural and lower MC home in Bangladesh.

I am actually very surprised that your DH has not constructed a nice house for his family in his home town.  Usually, the family member who is abroad will send money to update the family home and make it more comfortable for the family that has been left behind. [/quote]

Op here. The house was newly built about 6 or so years ago so during my first trip it appeared a lot nicer. They haven't been keeping up if you compare it to US standards.  The walls are stained. There is a lot of dust. There are also a lot of random steel small sheds on the property. Their land is scattered so it's hard to know how much they have. The entire block is all his family. There are probably at minimum 10 houses on this block that are all his family. Dh's dad died when he was in high school so I'm sure that had an impact. His mom doesn't work outside the house. I spoke to him today about improving things by getting a space heater and washer. He said his mom doesn't want a washer. I don't know where they would put it honestly. There is a huge concrete wall around the property. I was trying to get out yesterday to take a picture but there is. a padlock. [/quote]
So essentially you are imprisoned there .

What do the Bangladesh women do to socialize [/quote]

Op here. Here is what google define the city as.

Faridpur is a major city located in the Faridpur District, Dhaka Division, Bangladesh. It is a major commercial hub in Southern Bangladesh. It is the largest municipality in Dhaka Division in city proper. It has an area of 66.24 km2 and a population of 557,632.

Bengali women socialize with family. I don't think it's typical after marriage to go to restaurants with friends. My SIL specializes with other mom's in the school yard I believe. I remember during our last trip we dropped DH's niece off at a very expensive international school in Dhaka and all of the moms were sitting around outside the gates socializing. Dh said some stay there the whole day doing that!!! I feel my SIL of DH's brother loves our visits because she can socialize with me. When other people on here were saying they probably hate me it caught me off guard because they seem so friendly and happy to see me. Last time I bought a ton of new underwear and gave it to them because [b]Dh said women didn't wear underwear in his culture. It got me thinking how do they dry it without a dryer? They can't do it in the open yard.[/b] On this trip I brought them lots of underwear and bras too. [/quote]

I'm saying this in the kindest way OP, but please don't take anything your DH says as gospel. Women in Bangladesh wear underwear! Jesus H Christ, what kind of nonsense is that? Underwear is EASY to wash by hand. You may find that they'll have a line in an out of the way place (behind outbuildings, typically) where undergarments are hung out to dry. Worst case scenario is that they hang them up to dry in their rooms/bathrooms. They don't take up much space, and one does not need a dryer for that!

I know that most of my family, even the ones living in the middle of a forest in India, would be hugely offended if I gifted them bras and underwear. They'd just be too polite to say anything about it, though.[/quote]

Op here. His sister specifically asked me for these items from the US. My other SIL was also smiling and seemed happy when I gave her the items. We of course also gifted with other stuff including longchamp bags. I think you don't understand how much space they don't have in this space and the fact that underwear has to be hidden since they don't use dryers is ridiculous. Here is my cooking situation. Whenever dh has family visit and new people arrive every day I make them a pancake with jam. They seem happy and I feel like I am contributing. Almost everything I need I can't do myself. They don't want me touching the outlets. Also, another thing I noticed that proves Dhaka isn't modern is the electrical lines. They are a mess!! It looks like a fire waiting to happen. It's so shocking!!

https://ibb.co/rb3bfpG[/quote]
They asked you for underwear from the US because it’s better quality than what they buy locally, not because they don’t wear any underwear otherwise. LOL.[/quote]

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