Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone I know who got divorced as a result of cheating and were actually able to move forward with their own lives, take advantage of the new situation and get over the betrayal in a healthy way have no desire for the kids to know the details surrounding the reasons for the divorce, infidelity or otherwise.  Healthy, well adjusted people who aren’t living in the past can clearly see how the knowledge of the details could negatively impact the kids.  And it should be all about the kids.  My XH cheated-[b] after a few years of massive amounts of anger and grief I was able to move forward. [/b] I love my new life and I’m happy for him with his new life as well.  Kids are thriving, I never talk bad about him and to my knowledge he does the same.  I don’t hate him.  I wouldn’t be where I am now if he hadn’t cheated.  And I have a really, really good life.[/quote]

A few years of massive anger and grief is a lot to inflict on someone you supposedly loved and took vows with.[/quote]

DP.

Oh please. Humans are not gods. If you think that an oath will prevent a human being from being flawed, don't marry. If you do, the joke is on you.[/quote]

Does this apply to all oaths?  Then why take an oath and vow to hold oneself to a standard in relation to another person?

Everyone who has been cheated on was supposed to know that they would be cheated on, specifically by the person they married who also took the oath to love and honor the person they married??

The joke is on you because you actually trusted another person?

What should a trusting person do?  Not believe someone who they do not yet know is a liar?

How about creating a new insurance product, something better than a prenuptial agreement?  Everyone could apply and be approved, like directors and officers policies, to prevent financial ruin.  There could even be a psychological interview, similar to a blood test for cholesterol for life insurance policies, and if the prospective spouse has a specific number of ACES or admits to cheating in past relationships, then that would impact the premium and help all of the trusting people to understand that the risks of being cheated on ARE real and will cost them significantly in the future.  Future children could be listed as beneficiaries, and that's how the kids would could be told and comprehend that one parent broke an agreement, and the other parent did not have to pay more than their fair market share for the loss. [/quote]

People do this all the time. They take oaths and fail to keep them. If you choose to decide that people are infallible when they clearly fail iver and over again, the joke is on you. I mean, look at the rates of infidelity out there. What? There was a 30% chance that your spouse was going to cheat, and you choose to wallow in self destruction instead of moving on? Or you chose to leave your career for him without an iron clad post nup in place and now you are bitter? Yeah, the joke is on you.[/quote]

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