Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Again, divorce is your friend.  Why do you go on a rant on sexlessness when you don’t have to suffer if you get a divorce?  This is what makes you selfish and a narc.  Just go find someone younger and new who will love having sex with you.  Give your wife respect and a chance for a future that she doesn’t have with you.  You’ve got one foot out the door whether you realize it or not.   Do your wife a favor and divorce her even if it is not the right time for you. [/quote]

Divorce helps nobody because nobody is suffering. The sexless wife is happy (stays married + no sex) and the normal libido man is also happy getting sex elsewhere. Why divorce a sexless wife over something so unimportant and trivial as sex? That’s the absolute last thing on her list, something she doesn’t even want, it can’t be any big deal that he does that unimportant thing with another woman. That’s actually a nicer favor to her than divorce: if she wanted that she’d just get one herself.[/quote]

Not true.  It changes the cheater.  Over time they are different, judgmental, more likely to explode with anger, stressed, etc.  Leading a double life is not easy.

The wife isn’t happy.  There is no intimacy in the marriage.  That dried up a lot of times because of the way the cheater was in the marriage.

You have no idea what will happen in your AP’s spouse finds out- or your own spouse.  They will.  Over time, even the best liars get caught.

Do you want exposure?  Do you want AP’s husband at your front door?

You are in deep denial.

[/quote]

My friend just typed up a 3-page letter to be sent to the AP's spouse detailing the affair in detail and that this spouse had multiple affairs.

It is being sent 'signature required'.

I agree.  You just don't know what will happen or if you are found out. You aren't in control of the person you are cheating with and if they slip up---there goes your life.

It's a risk you take for playing the game.[/quote]

People never factor in the AP's spouse whom they have never met and only know as described by their AP.  They are often VERY different than they are described to the AP.

So, yeah, watch the f*ck out.  I'd never get involved in somebody else's marriage.  You never know what they might do to you or your family.[/quote]

I know one lady who had a couple of friends get a hold of her and shave half her hair off. They made sure to tell her "married men are off limits". She didn't know them and couldn't prove it came from the DW.  DW never confronted DH or DW about it. Acted like the sweet dumb spouse.  Crazy but yes you never know what will happen when you try to hurt someone's family.

[/quote]

I LOVE this!  I have a couple friends that have offered similar things to do to the OW.  I can’t say I’ve put any of it off the table yet :lol:

And-yes we hold my spouse to the same standard.  Married people with kids that cheat are scumbags.[/quote]

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