Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life. [/quote]

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?[/quote]
All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person![/quote]

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+. [/quote]

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous  relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.[/quote]

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.[/quote]

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.  [/quote]

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like? [/quote]

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings. [/quote]

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family. [/quote]

Time to grow up and have a life and family of your own.[/quote]

My dad is my family and we are happily visiting Greece this summer with my 2 brothers.

It’s sad people abandon by their parents don’t know it’s normal to vacation with their dads as adults.[/quote]

You assume the kids want a relationship and want to go.  By that age, usually, the mom's have destroyed the relationship.  You are also talking about very wealthy families.  Most don't regularly take trips like that.  We don't.  If we rarely vacation, I'm not paying for adults to go on vacation while I stay home.[/quote]

Yes normal people want a relationship with their parents. I am sad that you don’t understand that. The trip doesn’t have to be to Europe it could be a weekend to Myrtle Beach to go golfing.[/quote]

Ok, so, go visit them.  If we aren’t taking family vacations, why would we pay for you to go on a yearly one because you are entitled and spoiled.  You can go to his house for a weekend.  You excluding his wife and child and then screaming about family.  You are the problem and your mom raised you poorly. [/quote]

Agree with too[/quote]

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