Reply to Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested

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Reply to "Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hey Whitman rowing parent: I believe you.

I believe this:

[quote]It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described[/quote]

A decade ago, I sent my ex-husband packing when I learned that he had carried on an affair of many years with another woman.

Five years.

I wasn't "willfully blind."

I was intentionally and deliberately misled.

I was deceived and lied to.

and because I am a decent-enough person -- and sure, a little naive, still -- I don't imagine the worst about people.

I believed my ex-husband was at work.

This coach... There is a reason we call them "predators." They are cunning. They have tried, true methods. They operate by stealth and are skilled at covering their tracks. The longer they evade detection, the more effective they become: Because there is nothing out of the ordinary. It's just how he is. How he has always been. It's normal.

They are master manipulators. That is how they operate. They are charming and charismatic and very skilled at identifying and exploiting others' vulnerabilities. And creating vulnerability -- the better to exploit you all with, my dear.

Whitman rowing parent, everyone loves to think that it wouldn't happen to [i]them[/i], that they would have been the wiser, would not have been so easily duped.

You know better. So do I.

You would never in a million years intentionally put your child in danger (for a [i]scholarship[/i]?? Are people mad?)

You were deceived, you were manipulated, you were lied to. You were intentionally and deliberately misled.

You were blind, yes. And now that everything is out in the open -- well, of course it seems unfathomable that you couldn't see it before.

We have an astonishing ability to see things in ways that match up with our expectations. And I know how awful it feels to have missed such a danger, knowing he was hiding in plain sight, all along.

Focus on healing, now. Sending love to you and your community. [/quote]

You saw signs too and it also was easier to look past them.., for the kids, for the money, for your self esteem. Nobody has no clue.[/quote]

To the poster who sent your ex-husband packing, I am so sorry about what happened to you.

Thank you so much for you good wishes.

To the poster who said "nobody has no clue," that is a very unkind reply. Show a little humanity.[/quote]

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