Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote][quote][quote]Anonymous wrote:
OP here. We have a 4yo and a [b]4 mo[/b]. Before #2 came along, #1 was mommy this mommy that, I want mommy. Pretty typical I guess. Naturally, mommy had the bulk of the child care activities. Since #2 came along, I've taken over the care of #1 (yes, it's wayyyy easier than a newborn, i know). #2 also seems to be consoled by mommy only so guess who gets all the carrying duties? Mommy of course. I get that she's tired. I don't really know what else to do.

At 4mos out from childbirth, I was just coming off a period of crying in my PJs with leaking breasts, wacky hormones, and roughed-up lady parts. Hell, my son didn't even latch and BF until he was 2 mos old, and he woke every hour or two all night long for months. [/quote]OP, you need a reality check. I'm sorry, but this is life with little kids. Not many couples are getting it on 5x a week during this time period.[/quote]
Actually, I would be happy with 1-2 times a week. Even I know 5 times a week is impossible (for us anyway)[/quote]

Jesus, OP, I was prepared to be somewhat sympathetic, but you've revealed yourself to be either utterly clueless or a true asshole.  At four months out, many women find sex very painful.  Can I repeat that - PAINFUL.  As in rips and episiomotomies and healing of scars.  Most couples I know, even the most HD, were not having any sex for the first 2 months, and then fairly limited sex until 4 or even 6 mos depending on DW's physical condition.  I can't believe your response to this "reality check" is to say you'd be OK with 2 times a week.  I realize you are no doubt reacting to perhaps a sexless spell before DC #2 came along, but, Jesus, listen to yourself...  Seriously, you are part of the problem here.[/quote]

She could do other things (even mechanized things) to keep him happy.  It shouldn't be such a chore and would show she is interested in his very basic needs, which really doesn't have to be all that complex or take all that much time.[/quote]

As a single mom of 1 DC, I have to say this is one reason why I was glad to be single the first few years of DC's life. Many men don't help out a lot with house/childcare, and I could not see having enough energy to work, take of house, myself, DC and satisfy the biodad's needs.

I haven't read the entire thread, but I'm thinking OP is probably a bit narcissistic and unable to relate to how tough this time is for his wife, and doesn't truly appreciate his family/children.

And I say this as someone who is HD -- life happens, and other things become a priority at certain stages/times in life. If OP is happy about everything else in the marriage (which I believe he indicated fairly early in the thread) but puts such a priority on the sex aspect of the relationship that he can say that he wouldn't have married his wife due to infrequent sex, then the relationship and his family are not what he cares about. He cares only about himself.

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