Reply to Extreme resentment over mental load

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] And, to be clear, she can do the same. Nobody's forcing her to make a "magical" holiday experience. If you don't enjoy it, stop.[/quote]

I mean, these things are important, to a degree.

But if I'm operating under extreme resentment and loathing because my spouse cannot or will not participate in the child's lives, I'm editing my mental load and protecting my mental health. [/quote]

Millions of people live perfectly fine lives without ever celebrating Christmas at all, ever. This shit is entirely optional.[/quote]

That’s total bullsh*t. Depriving your kid of cultural celebrations isn’t abuse per se but it’s really bad parenting. This is obviously just a cope to claim that traditional women’s work has no value. [/quote]

So people who don't care about Christmas are abusers? You're mental. Get help.

Women's work has value so they should limit how often that value gets tapped without compensation or reciprocation. If you can't figure out how to do that without "depriving your kid of cultural celebrations" you shouldn't have had kids. The radio plays free Christmas music, every mall has a santa, holiday lights are probably all over your neighborhood and walking is free. You don't have to pay money or time to celebrate the holiday, should you choose.

It's "total bullsh*t" that this thread is this long and some of y'all still can't figure this out for your allegedly-grown selves, let alone the children you love and overprotect so damned much. God help their future spouses![/quote]

All of those things you listed take time. And you probably should not have kids if you don’t want to create a happy home for them. [/quote]

So you want to create a happy home? Like this is a choice you make because you want it, not a burden thrust on you? [/quote]

I want men to take equal responsibility to create a happy home and not freeload on women and then if called on it, claim that the only thing kids need is food and water. [/quote]

You do realize that men will say the same thing, except with regard to breadwinning.[/quote]

Have you seen the stats on this? Or are you stuck in the 70s.

What’s “bread winning” mean? All you do is office work and are a paycheck? Wow.

Even not counting the 40% of pump and dump fathers who are never their children’s “breadwinner,” women are pulling their weight and more in all realms. Financial, parenting, maintaining the property, community, family traditions, emotional support, finding health treatments, schedule planning, socializing, finding appropriate ECs, etc. [/quote]

Why do women marry men in the first place?? They seem to be completely unnecessary.[/quote]

That's the scam. Tradition and religion both say it's important, because reasons, but both a predicated on ideas from a time when women literally had no other viable options for sustaining a life and livelihood. Owning property, having credit in her own name, working a job that can pay her own bills, etc. are all opportunities only relatively recently afforded to women, and there are plenty of "men" (in quotes, because not all men and certainly no good men) trying to revert back to rules and restrictions that would either directly or de facto remove those opportunities (keeping a woman pregnant and forcing the housework onto her mean she's less likely to have career success or even a career at all, just as an example).

Men don't know how to pull their weight because they didn't used to have to. Women don't know how not to settle because literally all the women who came before us did and that's what we saw, at least to some extent (yes, including your granny who stayed married for 60 years or whatever). Women who refuse to cater to men and capitulate to The Way Things Are are pariahs, and the people who will treat them most cruelly are actually other women who haven't the strength or the courage to try to correct the inequalities in their own homes and marriages. Just look at this thread.[/quote]

+1! There is no need to get married and have kids. You can have kids on your own if you want them, or best arrangement— be in a house with other women and raise all your kids together. If you want sex there are always young guys available, but permanently attaching yourself to one is stupid.[/quote]

+2. The only reason women marry is because they fear the judgment of other women. Like crabs in a jar.[/quote]

Speak for yourself.

No way I was raising kids by myself.[/quote]

So you’d rather raise kids with someone who only causes you additional problems instead of helping you? You are the problem then. Stop complaining and accept what you deliberately chose.[/quote]

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