Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
But, so often (not always, but often), I think the perception that the HD spouse isn't helpful around the house is more of an excuse for lack of sex instead of the reason. [b]The lack of attraction comes first[/b]; the rationalizations come after. If I do the dishes and the laundry is that extra time really going to make her hot and bothered? Really? No. Not usually - maybe in those cases where exhaustion is so complete, and due to absolutely indispensable activities that cannot be avoided. Otherwise, I think low attraction causes the LD spouse to drop the marital sex life behind a bunch of other priorities that aren't mission critical. And, if the HD spouse takes care of some of those priorities, new ones will inevitably fill the void.[/quote]

I agree with this 100% and many of these posts don't want to touch it. Lack of or diminished attraction is HUGE. It's the unfortunate but inevitable part of any long term relationship. DH is attractive, sure, fit, tall, nice teeth and all of that but my physical desire for him is not nearly as strong as it was during our first years of courtship. Butterflies have long disappeared, familiarity will do that to you.  Even without kids or exhaustion, I still won't be clamoring the walls to get to his penis. And I'm sure he feels the same about me, if not for testosterone.

Since we can't admit this to each other because it will create hurt feelings, we look for excuses upon excuses to not have sex. [/quote]
I agree with this 100% and many of these posts don't want to touch it. Lack of or diminished attraction is HUGE. It's the unfortunate but inevitable part of any long term relationship. DH is attractive, sure, fit, tall, nice teeth and all of that but my physical desire for him is not nearly as strong as it was during our first years of courtship. Butterflies have long disappeared, familiarity will do that to you. Even without kids or exhaustion, I still won't be clamoring the walls to get to his penis. And I'm sure he feels the same about me, if not for testosterone.

Since we can't admit this to each other because it will create hurt feelings, we look for excuses upon excuses to not have sex. [/quote]

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