Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A question for working moms:  if you ask a non-working mom "what do you do?" what do you prefer she says? Is there any response we could give that you would approve of?  Just curious.

[/quote]

“I stay at home with my kids.”

[b]Why is this a complicated question?[/b] [/quote]

I feel like SAHMs make things super complicated, maybe because they are out of practice in planning and executing complex things. A week’s worth of dinners can’t get cooked without 5 harried trips to the grocery store…[/quote]

So you get offended that a stay at home mom says she stayed home so her kid didn’t have to be raised by strangers in the early years - probably saying that your chosen community of your daycare was super intentional - and then you go and put down women who choose to stay home with their young children? It’s actually really hard to provide full time care to young children well every day. It’s emotionally and physically and intellectually taxing. And what your comment tells me is that you actually didn’t care about the likely brown and black underpaid women watching your children every day while you worked (your “community”). It tells me you thought the work of taking care of children, including your own child, was beneath you. I’m a full time working mom and I have a ton of respect for the people who provide care to my three children between the ages of 1 and 5 every day and maybe that’s why I’m standing up for stay at home moms. Because it’s hard work and I respect it and I respect them and their decisions.  [/quote]
Posts like this are so bizarre to me. The first nanny we hired worked for us for 7.5 years and grew up 10 minutes from our house. (She also happened to be white, though I'm not.) We must have paid her okay, since she managed to buy a house during that time period.

We are still in touch with her, and I have nothing but respect for her abilities and her intelligence. I'm good at my job, and I think I'm a pretty good parent. But I'm bad at managing a household and some of the day-to-day of childcare. I hire people who are better than me at this. And if DH said this, no one would bat an eye.[/quote]

Are you the PP who wrote that SAHMs are out of practice planning and executing complex things? If so, I can see why you would think it’s bizarre that I responded in the way I did. Someone who has no respect for a parent taking care of their children all day (ie not planning and executing complex things) has no respect for anyone taking care of children all day. You can pretend to spin this in any way that you want but what this PP (I’m assuming you) said was really ugly. It says so much about you. And just because you supposedly paid your nanny well does not mean you respected her (yes, I’m sure her entire down payment was from her weekly paycheck conveniently from you! Look at you! Saving someone who can’t execute complex tasks). Your example is the equivalent of saying they aren’t racist because you employ a nanny who is Guyanese.

The silver lining here is that your nanny probably spent as much if not more time with your kids when they were young and since she’s probably a way better human they you are that least your kids have a fighting chance, assuming nurture over nature.

[/quote]

No that was me. And your word salad kinda proves my point! Anyone who rambles meaninglessly like that cannot plan and execute complex things.[/quote]

Well you’re the idiot because I make close to $400K at 37 and I’ve never taken a break from working despite having three children. I’m not carefully editing my post, because your EQ is so low that you wouldn’t understand anything I was saying anyway. You’re an ugly human and your children were lucky to be raised by someone who was a much more fit caregiver than you. [/quote]

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