Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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Reply to "Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see little difference in parenting between SAHMs and WOHMs when it comes down to it. Either way, kids know who takes care of them in the middle of the night, during emergencies etc. It's nice to have more time with them when they're little. It's also okay to want to have professional accomplishments. Before you know it, they're in school and the difference in time spent becomes far smaller.[/quote]

It can depend on the situation. My kids definitely noticed the difference between me being home or going to work. Even when they are in school they notice. I'm not saying it's bad (I have to work, both for money and my sanity, though due to a layoff and covid closures I wound up a SAHM for 2 years) but the idea that it's no different of kids don't notice is untrue. My DD in particular struggled with me going back to work. It's less parental attention and focus for them and little kids notice. I'm guessing by MS a lot of kids don't care as much because they are less emotionally reliant on parents.

I also think in terms of who is "raising" the kids it depends on the nature of the childcare. IME if you are sending kids to daycare you are still raising your kids yourself. Daycares don't make decisions the way SAHMs or nannies do and the struct hours and group setting just alter the nature of it. Whereas I think some nannies, au pairs, and grandparents serving as primary childcare ARE helping raise the kids as parental stand ins. However I actually think that's good-- I wish we'd had that kind of childcare when our kids were small because it would have helped share the load more.[/quote]

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