Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op how far is your sister from your parents house?  Does she work?

You have said that your sister is now in a great financial place probably from not having to pay childcare.

Your sister needs to do at least 3 days.  She can opt to pay for help for one of those days if she needs to.

That will leave two days between you and your dad which I think will be easier to manage.

Back your wife on this one.  She is telling you she has reached her limit.  You just want her to quit complaining and go along with you, the sort of resentment that will lead to will stay in your marriage for a long time.

This is early days yet, your mother will need far more care in the years to come so go easy now because it's only going to get harder.  Listen to your wife.  Tell your sister that you can't manage it at the moment.[/quote]

This is good advice.[/quote]

Bad advice.  Sister has offered 2 days.  That is what she can do.  Op should do 2 days, also.  They can come up with a plan B for the other day.

Mom providing childcare to sister's kids was between sis and Mom.  You are confusing that childcare arrangement into meaning that the sister now OWES her mom eldercare - sister never agreed to those terms but Mom did agree to provide childcare.  Two different things.

The other thing that is not your business is what you think your sister can afford.  That is her business and her budget.  You don't get to decide what she pays.  She decides that. If she is ahead financially now and married to an alcoholic to boot than good for her.  She has climbed some mountains to accomplish what she has whether you like her or not.

Now for what IS actually Op's business:  How do we best help out dad while he figures out a long term care plan for **our** mother.  Obviously, your spouses are not helpful people and should not be included in this conversation.

Your poor dad.  He is clearly going through hell right now.  Help that man.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

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