Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your wife most certainly should help. If she won’t DO NOT SHARE your inheritance check with her. It’s only fair. Parents should NOT leave money to those that won’t help them. Period. [/quote]

Op's dad is only 63 years old.  I doubt that the adult children are going to be getting an inheritance any time soon.

This is more about doing the right thing.  My dad got very sick when he was in his 60's.  My mom was still working full time, I was working full time, my siblings had work/families, too, and it was just a really difficult time.  You can see when a situation has become overwhelming to the point where someone is drowning.  That was the situation for my mom.  I stepped up and did what I could - just keeping an eye on dad for an afternoon was such a help, it wasn't much by comparison to what my mom was doing but I think it meant the world to her that I did step up.

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That's interesting -- because it seems a bit like the flip side of that is happening here. The husband's family did NOT step up when OP and his wife were struggling.  And it meant a lot to the wife, too, it's just that what it meant was not good.  And I kind of can't blame someone who watched her in-laws leave her to struggle when she was having a hard time resist sacrificing for the in-laws when they are struggling.  These parents DIDN'T help their son, but they sure expect him to help them.  OP's wife maybe should be a better person than they were to her, but she's only human, and it sounds like she's pretty busy herself, if she's working and has kids.[/quote]

Weirdly, when I saw what was going on with my parents I had gotten to the point where I really didn't see too much of them.  I can't say that my parents had helped me much (if at all) since I had moved out of their house and moved in with roommates.  I was sort of the black sheep of the family if you want to be dramatic or at least at the time I sure felt that way.  But when I saw my folks in real pain that is all it took.  I was there with them and for them. No hesitation.  It felt like the right thing to do.  Not the easiest thing but the right thing.

On the positive side, we got through that rough time with Dad.  I later got married and had kids of my own.  My mom became the world's best grandma to them, loved them to pieces and made SAH with them even more fun for me.  My life has been very blessed.

Do the right thing, Op, no matter what others may or may not do.  You know your limits, you know what you can do and what you can't do - you do not have to do it all.  Just do what you can.  Hang in there and I am really sorry about your mom.[/quote]

+1000[/quote]

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