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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD has a teammate from Academy on her JV team. Her mom was telling us that she likes Academy so much that she won't try out anywhere else. I didn't have the heart to tell her that this would be a big mistake. She will likely grow, but not at the same rate as the players in more competitive clubs: that's simply because her teammates will not be very competitive and that will slow her development. Volleyball-wise, we are in a very competitive high school and she will likely not make the Varsity team next year (she won't have the chance to play JV again because she will be a junior). [/quote]

This is not necessarily true and depends on the kid. I have a kid on a "lower" club who also loves her team. She eats, sleeps, and breathes volleyball. She played all summer, every fall clinic, private lessons, etc. that she could find, practices at home, and has improved exponentially. [/quote]

Any player can advance exponentially with that commitment and resources like private coaching. But throw those resources at her when she is in on more competitive team and you will see an even steeper growth. Mine is the type that likes to play with her team, but she is doing very little outside practice. Getting her on a better team would help a lot (her team is not that good). But with her current skills, she would need a miracle to get an offer for a better team. We are in a vicious cycle: get an offer on a mediocre team, play with mediocre teammates, avoid practice outside club, improve at a relatively lower rate, then repeat. [/quote]

Sounds like it’s best to follow the lead of the player. There is nothing wrong with a  “mediocre” club. Too many parents on here (not necessarily you) trying to keep up with the Joneses. Just have fun playing a great sport![/quote]

There is plenty wrong with our mediocre club. We travel as if we are a higher level team and waste a lot of time and money in the process. The amount of effort that my DD puts into her "favorite" sport is too minimal to justify the amount we are paying for club volleyball.

I don't really understand your comment about keeping up with the Joneses. Aren't the Joneses the rich folks who throw money at everything (including volleyball)? If you don't want to keep up with the Joneses, you stop wasting money on volleyball. Following the lead of the player would be the equivalent of keeping up with the Joneses. The player doesn't understand the value of money that goes into volleyball (even though she knows the dollar amount). She wants to pretend that she plays competitive volleyball without having to put any effort into it. My concern is that every year she keeps being rewarded with a new season of club volleyball despite putting so little effort into it. I think she already learned that the rewards are coming her way no matter what. It's pretty sad for me to realize how much I sheltered her. [/quote]

No- in this scenario the Joneses are Paramount and Metro.   [/quote]

I disagree with this view. Metro and Paramount are not just a bigger screen TV, or a more expensive car, or a bigger house. I can buy any of those if I have enough money, or I can make poor financial decisions to buy them when I cannot afford them. That's where you are trying to keep up with the Joneses. Metro and Paramount are selective - you make it in not because you have plenty of money, but because you are talented and put in the effort. No matter how much money I have, I cannot get a spot on Metro or Paramount for my DD who is short (in volleyball standards) and doesn't work for it. [/quote]

Ok, maybe the Joneses was not the best analogy. My point doesn't have to do with money ([b]all of these clubs are too expensive[/b]). It is the idea that some parents are too competitive and not content with their DD at a mid or lower level club volleyball team and always pushing their kid to move higher and higher.

Some kids are really going for a scholarship or are naturally super competitive. In those cases, follow their lead, but otherwise its just good to play volleyball with people at the same skill level and not get all wrapped up on being on the best team like it is a status symbol or something. [/quote]

I am guilty of pushing my kid. If I throw so much money at club volleyball, I want to see that my kid tries to improve her game. I know that she won't make Metro or Paramount (so I am not trying to keep up with those Joneses), but I feel that she should at least try. I want her to practice at home, go to the gym to show me that she is doing something to earn her spot on a club team. But I do understand: if you are already a Jones, of course you just throw your money and let your kid do whatever she wants. [/quote]

If she having fun? Is she making friends? Is her self confidence and personal development improving? Those are the reasons to play club volleyball for most people IMHO. If the answer is no then maybe time to move to another activity [/quote]
Spoken like a true Jones: I can afford to throw money at stuff. Let's see who can keep up with me. [/quote]
Pretty cynical to suggest that having fun, making friends, and gaining self confidence are not reason enough to want your kid to participate in an activity. What reasons are sufficient in your mind?  Do only players who might have a shot at a D1 scholarship deserve to play volleyball?  Do you view all extracurricular activities with the same ROI lens? What about music or art?  If your kid wanted to learn the piano or guitar are you only willing to consider lessons if you think there is a possibility of a financial return down the road?

I get that volleyball is expensive, but don’t most parents have to make sacrifices in the name of helping their children become well rounded young adults?  Obviously, there’s a limit and a family in a really dire financial situation shouldn’t prioritize volleyball over basic needs, but in my years around club volleyball many families have to make choices based on finances like driving to tournaments where others are flying (we’ve driven to Orlando, Indianapolis, Atlanta, Louisville, and many other faraway places over the years) or scaling back other travel to make club volleyball possible. For most of us with a finite amount of resources, those kinds of choices are just part of life. If you decide something different, that’s fine too, but that doesn’t make the alternative wrong. Isn’t it more likely that parents are making these choices because they believe it is a valuable experience for their DD rather than just keeping up with the Joneses?[/quote]

I already mentioned that my kid won't play in college and I would not push in that direction even if she was tall enough and had the skills. I want her to focus on academics when she gets to college because college sports are too demanding: most student athletes cannot pursue degrees in rigorous fields. I have no idea how you reached the conclusion that I am looking for any type of ROI for volleyball. You must have extrapolated from other discussions on this forum. I repeat what I said: if I pay so much money for this activity, I expect my DD to show some commitment beyond having fun during practice and tournament. I want her to learn that things don't come easy, they require effort and persistence. If you can afford to pay that kind of money just to make sure that your kid has fun, then we can never be on the same wavelength. We see life differently because we lived it differently and we didn't go through the same type of struggles. It is easy and cynical to make the argument "don't do it if you can't afford it." I can see a Jones making that argument. [/quote]
So your argument is that your kid doesn’t work hard enough or show enough dedication to volleyball so the way in which you’re teaching those values is to not let her play club volleyball anymore? But you expect her to have the discipline and work ethic to pursue a rigorous field in college? Not sure I’m tracking how your approach is developing the skills that you hope for her to have, but best of luck. [/quote]

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