Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it, because it’s true, even if people don’t want to admit that’s what’s happening when children are in full-time daycare.  But in polite society we avoid saying things that might hurt someone’s feelings, regardless of whether it’s truthful or not.  [/quote]

Yes it’s rude and said to be deliberately hurtful. I stayed at home but not ready on purpose, and I envy moms who got to work and had great childcare. Honestly they all seem happier and less burnt out because parenting requires balance. Just ignore anyone using this phrasing.[/quote]

The only working moms I envied were those whose children were watching by a local doting grandparent. But that was not my situation, so I stayed home. Yes we are less wealthy than we'd be if I worked, but we are doing just fine and I wouldn't trade that time for anything. [/quote]

I was also a reluctant sahm and yes I am very envious of people with local grandparents who dote and help out to make that balance easier even if they used childcare as well. People with really phenomenal nannies were a close second.

But I also viewed myself as fortunate in some ways to be able to sahm. I never envied people who had kids in daycare for long days or who had to cycle through a bunch of mediocre nannies or nanny shares. Staying home was a compromise for me but it was the right one -- staying in my job also would have been a compromise and the rewards would have been smaller. At least I got to spend more time with my kids and our family life was less stressful. Additional money would have been nice but the costs of childcare would have mitigated this and I also would have been miserable.

[b]People how have access to excellent high-quality childcare have it made. I really don't think they realize how fortunate they are[/b] and how this opens up a world of opportunities for the whole family because it allows so much to be a true choice.[/quote]

I agree with you. I realize how fortunate I am but I probably don’t say it enough (to my parents and to our longtime nanny). And fortunate that my work is flexible about hours and facetime. If any of those things weren’t true I would have sacrificed my career long ago and would probably have been a much more unhappy person. [/quote]

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