Reply to What parts of your life/lifestyle are unapproved by DCUM standards?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "What parts of your life/lifestyle are unapproved by DCUM standards? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m addicted to Oreo cakesters. I don’t even like Oreos. It’s like I can taste the cakiness and all the chemicals that I know are causing the addiction, but I like them. I don’t live in DCUM land, but I do live in the SF Bay Area. I’m practically a pariah because of my addiction to cakesters amongst the healthy eaters. [b]There was a naked homeless guy yelling outside the office the other day and I said that I bet he’d chill and be happy if I gave him some cakesters. Everyone was like, I can’t believe you’re joking about his plight or your addiction. True story-hand on the Bible level truth-he took a dump on the sidewalk 10 minutes later. I was like, “see? He had tummy troubles. Cakesters might have helped him go with less discomfort.[/b]” I said that because they’ve changed my digestive system. My tummy makes noises it didn’t before. I’m pretty sure we’re using more toilet paper in our house and I’m pretty sure the reason is me. And cakesters. And I’m pretty sure DCUM won’t approve of any of that lifestyle choice.

I’ve bought all of them at every Safeway, Target, and Walgreens (the only stores I’ve seen them in locally). I did a Target delivery order at work the other day and I was beside myself when I saw they had cakesters available. The shopper called to say they were out of stock and to see if I wanted them to substitute anything else. I said no thanks because regular Oreos are a different texture and he said he totally understood and lamented how hard it is to find cakesters. At first I was happy to find a kindred spirit, then I felt really irritated because he’s been eating my cakesters! I ordered all the ones I could find for under $7/box on Amazon. I’ve had to resort to having to order them from target online.

Otherwise I’m a healthy eater. Normal weight, no excesses. I eat at nice restaurants. I do hello fresh and eat salads and all that BS. Cakesters though. They’re like heroin. [/quote]

For once DCUM has left me speechless. [/quote]

Cakesters lady here. First, you’re welcome. I enjoy being part of new experiences for people, so that was great for me too. Second, I’m really curious which part of the bolded got you there. Was it that there was a naked guy yelling who then pooped on the sidewalk, that my coworkers thought I was nutty for making jokes, or that I was speculating on the effects of my favorite treat on naked homeless dude?

Last weekend my stomach was making some scary noises but I had run out of cakesters and was detoxing. DH commented on the noise and I said I thought it was a withdrawal symptom. He said A) that’s not true and B) whether that’s true or not, I definitely have a cakester problem.

To the PP who said they’re off to buy cakesters now, don’t do it! I’m not even sure they taste good anymore. But if you do buy some, grab some quilted northern triple ply while you’re there.  You’ll thank me later. [/quote]

It was definitely the naked guy pooping on the sidewalk. And that you interacted with him. A naked weirdo would have me creeped out! But I love your honesty about your cakester addiction! We all have our vices. [/quote]

To be clear, I didn’t approach the naked guy who yelled and pooped on the sidewalk. I was just telling my coworker that cakesters might have lifted his spirits so he might not be so angry and not yell as much while he prepared to poop on the sidewalk 😂 It’s probably best I didn’t give him any, because those things are like crack and homeless people already have enough issues aside from addiction, so I don’t want to make their lives worse by introducing a new vice. [/quote]

Whew! I misread and thought you an approached a naked stranger to offer processed sugar to help his bowel movements. :lol: I’m glad you clarified [/quote]

Same.  I thought you gave him a cakester to help his poop come out.  I'm glad he pooped.  Hope it was a big pile.  You should have offered him a box of tissues from your office for his butt.  There's  so many naked poopers in DC.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics