Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a woman and if I saw that my husband really was invested into kids, family time, their development dialogue with school I definitely would say yes to an open marriage. Particular if she’s not interested in sex or remarrying in general in the future and staying in that marriage not “wasting” her time in terms of potentially serious relationships.  At least until kids are off to college. I’ve lived through the hassle of divorce fighting, moving, new living arrangement and then my child torn between 2 households. 
So I do recommend and encourage an open dialogue between spouses about ways of addressing their needs. It’s way healthier than cheating which creates a lot of animosity and costly divorces [/quote]

Have you ever been divorced, cheated on, or had an open marriage?[/quote]

Yes, divorced last year after 16 years of marriage (he cheated for the last 5 years of it). Our marriage by far was not "sexless". I was significantly younger and initiated sex, but he just seemed to have very low libido. He was that "cosy" husband in glasses and a sweater, always with contractors at backyard, watching his TV or traveling for work. Little that I knew he was cheating with a married colleague of him, possibly, since 2012.
His cheating brought a very unhealthy dynamic in our divorce (cutting of financial accounts, secretly sending money to AP and registering assets to her name while still being married). In fact I learned about AP when I found out a suspicious banking transaction on an account he thought was separate, but the bank included me in a statement. Also he behaved totally deranged during divorce, abusive verbally and physically. Screaming I was nobody (because his AP was an executive and while I worked, my "main" job was my family) etc.

Currently we are still at war over parenting differences with our son, and he's in the middle.

I wish my exH ever spoke to me about his needs, and I certainly would have tried an open marriage knowing now he was probably polygamous. [/quote]

Sorry forgot to add: and I think that I myself would have benefited from an open marriage, instead of being "faithful" at the expense of being sexually deprived since age 35. I was watching porn while he was on business trips sleeping around. Funny, huh? I am totally fine looking, slim and attractive

[/quote]

I am one of the men who is being attacked here and I have to say, I am sorry you went through this. It sounds awful [/quote]

A man who leaves their wife to care for children, including a special needs child, and don’t take on significant parental duties, and then seeks divorce for a sex partner: what’s not to love?

Cheated always play the victim. I bet your wife has the kids right now. [/quote]

We have 50/50 custody [/quote]

So he is divorced. To address his sexual needs totally derailed his kids'  stability shuttling them back and forth just so he could spend 50% of his time with the GF who he claims is "not serious".

The money transfer to AP that I found on my exH account was over $300k. I didn't even know he had that much cash! If you think your GF loves YOU for being YOU, believe me that's not the case. She's just waiting for you to get ready for next more serious level, and eventually get control over your income and assets.

My exH AP did this: when he got older and emotionally attached to her more than he was to me (because I was very consumed with household duties), she demanded that he divorced. Now she has full access to his paycheck and I sometimes cover my son's essential expenses even on "dads" weeks. [/quote]

Sad thing is that if these men had just taken on 50% of the responsibility at home, and devoted the same energy into their marriage as they do their AP, they wouldn’t be divorced. They’d have a happy marriage, intact family, and more wealth.

What’s even more sad is those APS and GFs will bail the minute he ages and needs any kind of help. They won’t visit the nursing home, they won’t be there by his side as he dies. Kids likely won’t, either. Usually once kids get married and have their own kids, they realize how messed up their dad’s behavior was and cut him off. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics